God is a Gamer and Earth is his World of Warcraft

The Big Bang came from an angry teenager
beginning a new campaign.

Quantum physics was created in a week.
Quantum psychics took another week.
Quantum of Solace had nothing to do with God.

Our solar system was a weekend of energy drinks
electro-funk music, pizza bagels,
and staying up way past bedtime.

Earth itself was always a side quest:
which explains why he doesn’t address
the prayers of priests and popes and other people;
he’s completing other quests,
or finding some epic loot
or grinding for experience
in the far reaches of the galaxy.
Besides, there are far too many humans
with gold question marks haloing their heads
to fit even a deific to-do list.

All of human history has been mostly a pee break
for the Holy Trinity Guild.

Slavery?
God went hopping to another universe to see
his friend’s steady-state reality.

The dark ages?
He had to take out the trash
collected in the universe’s black holes.

Wall Street?
His mom called him down for dinner
because she hasn’t seen her son in eons
and wants to ask whether he’s found a nice girl
to settle down with after these 13.7 billion years.

God does not play dice with the universe;
The Universe is his die.